Still Pretty Emotional...
I'm still kind of shaky, but I'm gaining ground (literally grounding myself deeper). Yesterday was one of those days when I felt pretty defeated. I missed deadline at my college newspaper which I have never done since I started being a reporter there since the Spring of 2016, I found out that I failed my Liberal Arts Prep. math quiz, and I hadn't heard back from my friend who was supposed to let me use his camera for shoots in exchange for me helping him learn how to use it, so I was considering trying to figure out a way to drop my photojournalism course because I was desperately in need of a camera. I went over Jay's house. Our relationship is rapidly developing intimacy at a speed that kind of scares me, but I'm working to let love into to my heart - to let it relax and breathe and grow - to work out that chakra. I felt totally vulnerable, anxiety ridden, deflated. He came in and engulfed me in his supportive arms and even helped my to cry and release my pent up emotions which is something I have a lot of trouble doing.
Fast forward to today. I started my period. While I"m never thrilled about this, I'm learning to accept this feminine part of my body's biological process as an energetic release of its own. In swimming class yesterday, I let go and jumped into the water and started to tread. Because I'm learning how to swim, this took faith and trust in myself and in the universe. But I let go and let myself fall feet-first into the water on a little jump. I knew during that who experience of working with the water element, that I was going to start my cycle which was a little late, very soon. The letting go was already happening then, and in the day s prior when I worked with, among other crystals, the shiva lingam stone that is known for unifying the divine mascaline and feminine and aiding the reproductive system. I was also working in tandem with frankincense, ylang ylang, melissa, eucalyptus, peppermint and lavender essentials oils. This along with yoga and journaling has begun to bring up intense emotions. But it's OK. The universe is listening and so is divinity, my ancestors, guides, angels and God/Goddess as well. Not only have I found help with my math, but Jay has offered to buy me a camera and give me time to pay him back. He said he looked upon it as "an investment". My heart melted.
"Kind And Generous" Written and Performed By Natalie Merchant
