On Being Happy

On Being Happy

After reading today's fable in Tori Hartman's "Chakra Wisdom Oracle Toolkit" workbook entitled "Joy Dancin' Daisy", I am pondering the nature of true joy and happiness. The "Dancin Daisy" fable encourages me to look within myself for all the moments of true happiness that I can find and not to analyze them or tear them apart with thoughts from my monkey-mind, but just to acknowledge that these moments of true joy are out there, recognize them for what they are and examine exactly how I can express gratitude for them. It is through this acceptance that that these feelings can naturally multiply -- no forcing or wishing required. We just have to notice them, appreciate them and give thanks for them each time they show up in our lives. I had many such moments yesterday. I was enjoying the simplicity and beauty of Jay's company. And there was one moment, a lull while he was nearby busying himself on a computer game and I was about to read a book where I turned over and closed my eyes to the perfect warmth of the sunshine and knew that he was there and I smiled into the sun with my eyes closed, basking in its bright glow. I felt truly at peace. Today on the yoga mat with my large Norwegian tabby Fjord and my my yoga mat, I felt a similar simplicity of love and joy. Fjord came and nudged my head while I was in child's pose, attempting to lick the essential oils I had rubbed on my chest off of my fingers. It was so sweet and I have to say that I really feel fortunate today. I'm sitting here writing this and giving thanks for the blessings I have. Namaste!

More Notes On Peace

More Notes On Peace

It has been more and more important to me that I gain peace ✌ from within. Separating my reactions both emotional and physical from a situation or state of mind is key to part of my journey on the road to enlightenment. I view enlightenment in the terms of a state of being and a conscious effort of a lifetime rather than an achievement.

Yesterday was so busy that I almost forgot my yoga practice for the day. It was nearly two in the morning and I sat straight up in bed remembering, and realizing that I could either go to bed or practice before I closed my eyes. The choice was easy -- a brief, simple bedtime yoga session from the Yoga With Adrienne YouTube channel. You always have a choice, and I chose not to give up my nearly eight month stretch of regular daily yoga that I have practiced every day before I close my eyes at night. 🌙 I feel like the beginning of becoming enlightened is to commit to positive practices of both mind and body. Yoga and meditation have become my both go-to and my to-do. They are some of the best additions to my everyday they I have ever added. I can't wait to see where a few years of steady practice will take me!

Finding Peace In The Swirling Sea Within

Finding Peace In The Swirling Sea Within

Today my anxiety ramped up again when I found out that my roommate's sister had been in a serious car accident and is in serious condition. I don't know her extremely well but we have spent some social functions and holiday events together. Now it seems that I am facing the feeling of seeing a friend of mine go through exactly what I have gone through (and unfortunately he has also gone through) time and time again. So I really needed to tune in and ground myself in the moment. There is nothing any of can do but wait to hear updates of her progress from the doctors. I'm so sad that this has happened. Now all I can do is try to find peace within the tumultuous emotions that are surfacing within me like debris that is stirred up from a storm on the sea. I am doing my best to surf the waves of feelings that this is bringing up within me.

Getting Grounded Again

Sometime between yesterday and today, I got a little shaky and off-center in the doing of all my tasks. This afternoon, I realized that I needed to infuse a some grounding back into my life, so that I can get a bit of my own back. It has been a busy week thus far and I have come to terms with the fact that I don't have to do everything perfectly, but sometimes that impulse to over-think and "monkey mind" everything tries to take over again. At least now I know what's happening when I see it and I can relax and relinquish that tight grip on my existence and remember to breath -- confident in the knowledge that everything is going to work out for the best and that it always does somehow. This yoga practice really helped me a lot. More kudos to the Yoga With Adrienne channel!

Exactly What I Needed!

Exactly What I Needed!

OMG was this practice everything that I needed to do and hear in the moment! Since at least a week, I had been plagued by thoughts of self-doubt about my performance and singing abilities and my life path in general. And then I went up there on stage and I felt that I just 'hit in out of the park' in terms of my performance. It was an awesome feeling and then the next day when I thought about the things I have to finish up before the end of the semester, I started to get anxious and doubt myself yet again. After I completed this Yoga With Adrienne practice to conquer the times when you simply don't believe in yourself enough, I begin to see the patterns of the times when I doubt myself and how it can often be a vicious cycle. I'm committed to working through this tendency, not by pulling away from the uncomfortable emotions that self-doubt can generate, but by examining them, facing them with frankness and honesty, learning what I need to and then letting it go.

The Moment of Truth

The Moment of Truth

So in this crystallization of time, this second of mental, spiritual, emotional and physical growth, I am feeling the weight of all my decisions. How will I respond to everything that is being asked of me? How will I react to the truth of understanding that dawns on us something -- hitting us like a brick of realization? For me that realization is dealing with feelings of self-doubt and fears about my proficiency as a singer and performer. I somethings wonder if I'm good enough to be around all the talent that I have the privilege to enjoy in my musical social circle. I know that this is coming from a deeper place -- a wound created by my childhood, when people didn't believe in me or think I was capable of great things. My challenge today is to take a deep breath and just melt into the moment of truth when it comes and to infuse with playfulness and lighthearted energy. I can ask myself, if this was my last day or chance to be on earth, would I want to spend it in fretting and worrying, or would I choose joy instead? I want to choose joy.

Tired But Inspired!

Tired But Inspired!

I needed a dose of caffeine after my morning yoga and then I had to head off to my classes. I have a performance tomorrow, and maybe it's the stress I have faced over the last two week, or the toll that being sick took on my whole system and frazzled nerves, but I find my self nervous. There are points durning the day when I wonder if I can do it. Logically I know I can, and that all I have to do is just get out there and have fun, but still the nagging little spears of self-doubt remain amid all the happy parts. Maybe the key is just to accept the whole picture with both the good and bad feelings and just let everything go. I think I'm going to practice doing that tomorrow. This is me letting on and letting God/Goddess take the wheel. And cue second yoga practice....