As I approach the finish of one yoga challenge and move into another, I feel a bit of a glitch of resistance telling me that I will be starting another commitment to my practice -- a hint of fear and of promise -- the beginning of another inner adventure. Every breath I take is feeling a little "truer" (pun intended) and a little freer. Today I was gifted a beautiful copper and bronze bracelet charged with the intentions of protection and grounding by Jay -- a dear friend who it seems is becoming more. This happened shortly after a meditation of love and connection I did utilizing the beautiful calming energies of the aqua blue frequency. I have a feeling that the positive implications of this meditation will be playing out in even more moments in the future. For now it has bestowed upon me a lovely gift of protection and trust and has colored my day with a shield of serenity. I am blessed. I am loved.
Adriene's yoga practices are often uncannily accurate for where I am in my life. I must have been drawn to her yoga channel by The Universe. Today I had a pretty honest and yet incredibly freeing realization about myself in the meditations that directly followed my asanas with Adriene this afternoon. I had woken up really late after a deep sleep that my healing body sorely, and I do me sorely needed. I was still all stiff and achy from being so sick this past week. And as these things often present themselves to us, it was a surprising introduction to my conscious mind from my subconscious mind about it's motives and underpinnings. The revelation came to me while I was meditating on the advice in today's journal activity for "Rituals For Transformation" By Briana and Dr. Peter Borten. It was about being aware of how energy comes and goes in our body. The mantra I wrote before meditating was 'I am aware of the nature in which my energy comes and goes.' I as I focused on my breathe and thoughts came and went on those breathes, I began to see how much energy I give to the outcome and the things I fear in the outcome. Also how much that affects my interactions with others and the state of my existence. I saw that a lot of my worries, anxieties and bouts with insomnia came from me giving energy to a certain expected outcome. But this outcome that I built in my mind often never came and then I would go on to dreading the next terrible expected outcome. There was a destructive pattern going on here.
Now that I am fully aware of this, I can stop it whenever I notice myself doing it. I thought WOW, how long have I been doing this?! I realized that I how I allowed other people's moods to affect my energies. Granted I understand that a lot of this comes from being and em-path and being very naturally receptive to people's moods. But being an em-path is a gift and I need to learn how to use it without being bowled over by outside emotions all the time. And for the first time, now I can conceive of how I can do that without (another groundless fear of expected outcome) losing my compassion. I'm exercising compassion for myself and others right now just by helping myself to help them better. I'm coming to terms with the fact that I have lost so many loved ones and had so many "bad" things happen to me that this has caused me to fear what the future may hold, instead of being open to it. What an amazing realization about myself!
The "Yin/Yang" card is all about moving in the flow of life -- surfing 🏄 ever-present and often unpredictable waves of movement. While being in the flow there is no time for fear, only presence and positive action. That is the frame of mind I am consciously moving through life with today. It feels so free and beautiful. I love it!
Continuing To Connect To A Place Of Healing And Stillness
Today's practice was nice and dreamy. It was about 6:30 am when started moving through asanas with Adriene and connecting to a place of stillness, perhaps even more than in yesterday's time spent on the mat. Most of the day was quiet after I had to leave classes and my responsibilities behind for the moment to tend to myself. I tried to bite off more than I could and take on the world before I was fully healed, and was humbled by the limits of my physical body and taught lesson in self-care that was mine to take with grace and aplomb. Now I am so much better rested. We'll see what tomorrow brings. It seems like a promise of adventure hanging around the next corner. 😎
Today's yoga practice was all about stillness -- finding those authentic moments within yourself to be present and whole, even in your imperfections. My journaling and conscious reading materials are allowing the precious space for me to do just that. It's OK for me to move ahead even if everything in my life isn't perfect. I can just focus on the amazing things that are working more me right now and be grateful. I have a roof over my head, I have an amazing new guy in my life, I have a beautiful, loving cat named Fjord, and an abundance of friends and supporters. Life is great! Now I just have to ask the Universe for financial abundance and line up to get ready for it. I feel more like myself then I have in years.
I realize that it was my last yoga challenge that helped me to feel connected to my higher self. And that it was around that time that I moved to San Francisco with my late sister who at that time had recently been diagnosed with cancer. It was this move to San Francisco that set so many positive experiences in motion for me that changed my life. But when my sister asked me if I wanted to consolidate the failing business I was hanging onto and leave to the Big City, a place where I didn't know anyone, didn't have a job in, carrying a large amount of bills and debt in tow, I said yes. In retrospect I realize that I was fully committed to my yoga practice then and reading books like "Zero Limits: The Secret Hawaiian System for Wealth, Health, Peace, and More" by Ihaleakaia Hew Len and Joe Vitale -- a groundbreaking book about ho'opono'pono, the ancient Hawaiian practice of love and forgiveness. I noticed yoga was the thing that I took up again after my breakup with my long-term partner of almost a decade, as I was preparing to leave San Francisco after my sister passed the rents skyrocketed, and I was sleeping on a cot with my cats, most of stuff in storage and me spending some night drinking alcohol and crying. My yoga practice was there when I "miraculously" found a new place to live a few cities over in Richmond California, and spent days binge-watching TV shows and crying over romantic movies in my pillow while nursing an injured arm on Disability. And it was present to help me heal my arm, when I found a new job, a wonderful friend Claire to have an amazing trip to Mexico with (who sadly passed away in the summer of last year) and when that job not longer was serving me to help me find a new better job with equal pay. Now as I progress toward my goal of one year of yoga without missing a single day, and I get closer to my 100th day, I know that my practice will be here for me through thick or thin, no matter what. I have it as a constant companion forever. And that it is the physical practice of movement that represents the unique relationship between my mind, body and spirit.
I think it's highly appropriate that my three-card reading today happened to be photographed on the back of one of my favorite blankets -- a Christmas present I received in 2016 when I least expected it. It was a reminder that abundance is all around me if I choose to see it. My reading to day bolsters my inner-knowing that I am destined for a life of bounty and joy! The card "Man Holding A Coin" which came up in a previous reading shows me that I am set of achieving my best life against all odds -- that I am developing an millionaire mindset. "Magician In The Mirror" means that I'm coming into my own power and that I have the ability to make magic! "Blossoming Abundance is saying looking out world, here I come! All the joy and beauty that I have imagined and more are waiting for me me to reach out and grab them.
So It's time to introduce my readers to two books that I have recently started to peruse. One is called "Basic Psychic Development" by John Friedlander and Gloria Hemsher. This is a wonderful book for anyone who like me are exploring world of things unseen and have been using their intuition and third eye to see the Universe with. It is helping me to get my own back. I highly recommend it. Another book I am reading is called "Becoming Magic"" By Genevieve Davis. This book is a no-nonsense look at the Law of Attraction principles. It's groundbreaking. If you want to be the director of your own purpose and create magic for yourself get it now. I just downloaded it off Amazon yesterday evening and it is pure gold!
"I Believe In Miracles" Performed By Hot Chocolate
Even though I woke up groggy on Jay's futon, still reeling from my flu, but on the road to recovery thanks to his caring and healing ministrations during the weekend. I felt grateful, wrapped in a fuzzy blanket, being roused gently, given a long loving hug, and sent home with two containers of the homemade soup he made me for dinner the evening before and a crisp apple, and greeting the brightness of the morning sun that shone down on me through as he drove me home in his electric powered car.
Of course as life often does, when I got home, I had discovered that my roommate had finally rented out the spare room, I had to navigate the territory of one of my neighbor's moving, tackle the ongoing problem of organizing my room, try and put out a fire at the my college newspaper paper over text and email, get a memory card for a camera I don't know how to use so that I can shoot three pictures for my photojournalism class and wash my cat. It's all in a day's work.
Somewhere between all the chores and errands, I realized that these things aren't going to magically disappear for me to live out my true purpose, but I'm going to have to navigate around them and zero in on the things that are of the most importance to me. It's like today's lesson in my "Rituals For Transformation" journal says. I have to choose where I put my energies, because what I put my energy on will grow and thrive. I choose to put my energies on my goals and dreams from now on! It's as simple as that. From that rich focused soil, my life will take on greater meaning and passion. From there, my spirit will grow.
As I head closer to the 90 day mark on my yoga journey, I am learning so much about myself because of the valuable inner work that I have done. Today I'm still recovering from being sick and I am taking it nice and easy. Just like Yoga With Adriene's "Be Kind" practice which focuses on being loving and compassionate with yourself. Today was about nurturing and self-care and today. And I received TLC from myself and others.
It's important to find balance in your life. And that is what today's practice was all about and what today was all about for me. I caught a bad cold which started yesterday and just sort of blindsided me the way colds can often do with the swiftness at which the symptoms became full-blown. So for me day 23 of the "True" challenge on the "Yoga With Adriene" Youtube channel, gave me just what I needed. It was the perfect mix of a little fire and sweat with mostly calming, thoughtful poses. Now it's time for my body to experience some hard-core rest and rejuvenation!
