Day 8 Of 30

Day 8 Of 30

This week, much like the last, has been a bit of an emotional marathon. Mercury Retrograde has me feeling as if I am plodding through sand. I was incredibly exhausted. This evening my final was co-coordinating the Forum Magazine's launch party. Forum Magazine has been City College of San Francisco's literary magazine for over eight decades now.

I had envisioned the evening as a send up to the beat poetry era whose influence still reverberates through the San Francisco community. I had asked a few members of the CCSF Jazz Musician's club to accompany the poets. The event got off to a slow start but turned out to be a success. I had invited a talented poet I know to read his work. He lived closer to where I do in the East Bay Area and offered me a ride home,  only to find out his car had been towed. Of course I felt terrible because I was the one who had invited him. It also stung that at the end of a big accomplishment, my silver lining was a bit tarnished. 

This week has been full of these sort of happenings, and I am having to ask myself what the lesson is for me in all of this? I'm trying open a space for breathe and calm and awareness and for allowing. My yoga practice today was very yin, and I guess my spirit needed that rest and nurture for the evening to come. Ah well. Tomorrow is another day. 

I Pulled The Strength Card...

I Pulled The Strength Card...
Saturn moved out of my sun sign and into my moon sign. And today I just discovered some more bad news. This time it is firmly rooted in my emotional house. Because I don't want to expose too much information at the moment until I have more myself, I'm going to suffice by saying that I'm trying to hang in there. I'm going to need a lot of strength to deal with this issue. I can only keep positive and reach out to the universe and family and friends for the support I need.

Day 6 of My Second Yoga Challenge

Day 6 of My Second Yoga Challenge

Ok. So today's practice was as challenging as my day. Awkward conversations? Check! Mercury Retro time conundrums a la 'how did I start out having two full hours and now I'm still late?' Check! Unexpected confrontations with difficult people? Check! On the bright side there were mind-blowing, loving connections, unexpected moments of humor, understanding, camaraderie and friendship, and an amazing cup of coffee with a popcorn chicken and rice bowl from Quickly's. I feel like I still came out on top somehow dispute or maybe in spite of the challenges off the mat. And I can't help feeling such gratitude for all it. I'm growing so much from everything that I am going through right now. Somehow all these moments in the struggle and the flow feel precious and priceless... and beautiful.

New Moon In Sagittarius

New Moon In Sagittarius

The mysterious tug of New Moon in Sagittarius is caught in the thrall of Saturn and the energetic force of Mercury Retrograde is tugging at it's heels. I've felt this particularly as Saturn moves from my sun sign into my moon sign. I have had so many things happen in the last week that my head is spinning. I can only find solace in my yoga practice, meditation, the strength the red jasper and black tourmaline have lent me and in the company of a kind soul whose support I cannot repay. I am going to work on my intentions for this new moon which allows me to acknowledge the possibility of change, the sadness of endings and of new beginnings. I'm going to journal in my blog some of my hopes and dreams, and some of the wondrous things I'd like to manifest for myself.

1. I would like to have this blog grow into one that can help thousands of people.
2. I would like be become a published sci fi and fantasy author whose writings touch the masses.
3. I would like to become a world renown singer/songwriter and performing musician in my own right who creates art and beauty through music.
4. I would like to use crystal healing and energy work to help people all over the world
5. I would like to find the security of my dream home from which to work and life from
6. I would like to ethically embrace a lifestyle of loving and relationships free from the social mores that society would place on how a person can love another.
7. I would like to travel the world and see all the places I've dreamed of
8. I would like to become an accomplished yogi
9. I would like to become proficient in various types of dancing.
10. I would like to become an accomplished pianist and compose beautiful music that moves hearts and souls.

Just that. That's all. I'm sharing a part of my hopes, dreams and aspirations with you, and in doing so, some of my vulnerability. I wish to leave behind all people, places, things, and attitudes that no longer serve my soul's purpose so that I can step into endless love, bliss and abundance. Just that. And to everyone reading this. May all your wishes and dreams come true!

Healing My Root Chakra And. Day 4

Healing My Root Chakra And Day 4 of Yoga

It's day four of my yoga practice and I am remembering why I am wearing the crystals above. Red jasper is for strength and courage, black tourmaline is for transmuting negativity, and clear quartz is for clarity. I realized that today I needed all three. I have been under an extreme amount of stressors, my metal is being tested these past few days. I'm leaning on my yoga and crystals for support. They are helping and they are needed.

Day 3: Yoga Through Emotional Pain

Day 3: Yoga Through Emotional Pain

I'm on my way through my second month of yoga and I'm going through a lot of emotions right now. The yoga, Saturn and Mercury Retrograde are stirring up some very intense feelings within me. I am trying to breathe through them and let them go. The sunny high of my birthday and the hustle and bustle of the end of my semester are coming to an end and I am being forced to process the hurts and the grief. This sucks, but I know that I have to go through it in order to release it. It's times like these that I remember the fact that I can either focus on the lack and the pain, or I can choose to place my attention on the joy and the bliss that does exist in my world and on all the things I am grateful for. Namaste.

Day 2 Of My Second Yoga Challenge!

Day 2 Of My Second Yoga Challenge!

My practice today was invigorating and challenging and set me up to deal with a day where my energy level was low from the triumphs and low points of my week. My birthday week was a roller coaster of emotions. One day I went through the break up of a relationship, the next day I received accolades for my singing at the City College of San Francisco's Winter Jazz Concert from famous jazz pianist Larry Vuchovich, and from my jazz professor and peers as well as the audience. And the next day I found out that a close friend of mine who I had lost touch with for a bit had passed away over a month ago. I was plunged into grief again. This is the second close friend I have lost this year, not including my beloved pet of 9 years. I was able to gain a modicum of comfort from the fact that he passed away peacefully after a long battle with illness. Needless to say that to go to my last round of classes and just show up today, took a lot out of me. I am coping though, by trying to be compassionate with myself and letting in the people who care about me, and allowing them to well... care for me. Saturn is going out of my sign of Sagittarius on December 20th, and the stern and sometimes harsh energy of the planet is blowing a gale-force wind into my life. And boy is it going out with a bang. Up's and downs, crescendos and decrescendos, akin to ending of Tchaikovsky's "1812 Overture" are building with steady intensity. I really am leaning heavily on my practice and on meditation to help carry me through. I know that "this to shall pass."