Learning Self-Love

Learning Self-Love

Today in the "Chakra Wisdom Oracle Toolkit" by Toni Hartman I explored the lesson of Saint Apricot which tells us to value our worth and put ourselves first when necessary in order to live the life of our dreams and honor our personal truths and boundaries, even if that my mean that we lose the approval of our loved ones. Sometimes it's better to be understood and respected than well-liked. This is the realization that we all must come to if we are to truly be our own masters. I see that, as well as the areas in which I have given away my personal power to please others. It is now time reclaim those parts of myself and stand strong. It is now to for me to honesty see how much I am worth and recognize that lobe and self-respect are the birthright of every being in The Universe!

More On Letting Go Of Resistance...

More On Letting Go Of Resistance...

I'm back to allowing for the feelings of resistance that come up within me -- lending themselves to my issues with chronic anxiety (that feeling where I'm like a top that is all wound up with no place to spin out) and with trauma from my childhood and upbringing. Some days are better than others. And it's getting better and better the more I practice yoga and meditation and the more I do one thing -- let go of resistance to what is. Within me there is this need to control the outcome that I was struggling to get rid of. And now instead I'm letting it just be and seeing what comes up, then just seeing if it can release and float away like troubles on a cloud... The more I practice this type of allowing, the more that my worries seem to drift away. A few days I ago I was introduced to a mantra from "Rituals For Transformation" by Dr. Peter and Briana Borten. The mantra goes, "Thank goodness this is all being taken care of." This mantra reminds me that of the importance of letting go and letting God, Goddess, The Universe, Source, Higher Self, or all of the above if you wish, take your burdens and trust that they have your back as you move throughout the daily challenges that you must face in life. Then a deep inner knowing will emerge that no matter what happens, you are safe, you are loved, you are protected, you are worthy, and you are an eternal spirit whose light knows to limits.

Exploring My Options

Exploring My Options

I felt a bit out of sorts today -- a bit like I was searching but not finding myself. And then I had an epiphany! No matter how lost I might feel, I'm always found -- always cradled in the arms of the angels -- always loved by my Higher Self, my soul's consciousness. Today moved slowly and I felt cherished and protected... safe. There is something really beautiful in this knowledge. How do I perceive this on a daily basis. I went out to a Pub on St. Patrick's day in San Francisco. I felt strangely connected to the fun, but disconnected, like I was an outsider observing all the fun happening around me, but I was not saddened by this fact; I was content. Earlier that day a fire broke out in the North Beach neighborhood near where I work. It felt so close to me that it sent a thrill through me. I would have seen the flames shooting up into the night from where I was, but had suddenly be struck by a terrible urge to follow through on my plan to get ice cream at the famed Swensen's Ice Cream on Hyde Street of Union. "So far away so close," as U2 sang. There must be a cosmic symmetry to all this, especially with the amount of synchronicity I have encountered lately. Only time will tell, but the happenings of late seem especially important somehow. It could be my imagination, but it could be my intuition. I feel as if it's the later.

Gearing Up For Mercury Retrograde

Gearing Up For Mercury Retrograde

OK. I'm not entering into any new agreements, making sure I have extra time before I go to necessary destinations, beseeching the deities that rule time and communication, concocting my Mercury oil and surrounding myself and meditating with blue hued crystals. I'm reflecting on the loose ends that need to be tied up, projects that need to be completed, and taking stock of where I am. But most importantly, I'm chilling out and letting events unfold the way they need to and going with the flow. I am also preparing for a journalism conference for my college's newspaper. We leave for the SoCal conference on March 22 -- the first day of Mercury Retro. Let's see what this cycle of Mercury has in store. It should really prove interesting.

Just Keep Going!

Just Keep Going!

This seems to be the order of the day. Keep on keeping on. I am grounding into my goals for the long haul. And sometimes I just want to throw in the towel and shout 'This is fun anymore!" But when the going gets tough the tough do yoga, meditate and let go of resistance. It's OK though. Tomorrow the sun will rise yet again and I will face the light with renewed determination!

Winning Uphill Battles

Winning Uphill Battles

Sometimes it' not about the finish line, but the sweat and determination that it takes you to get there. How will you achieve your goals? How will you set the wheels in motion or through the winning curve ball? Today felt like an uphill battle, but at the end of it, I felt as if I came out of it the winner! I triumphed over the odds that kept me in the illusion that I was somehow to exhausted to go on. I woke up at 6:30 am and practiced yoga, braved my way to school where I trudged on through math classes, a swim class that challenged my endurance, duties at The Guardsman as a reporter, photojournalism class and then the end of the day ride back home on BART, the San Francisco Bay Area's subway line. Tomorrow my day promises to be a bit more leisurely. I will probably wake up at about 6:30 or 7 am and practice yoga, work out, finish my photo story for the paper, get working on emails, cleaning and organizing my room and waiting for an appointment to pop up on my massage therapist app Zeel -- an on demand massage therapy company that I work with. Later I'm off to see "Tomb Raider" with Jay. It should be a great day all around and I can't wait to jump in it!

Pulling It All Together

Pulling It All Together

Today felt like a lot of energies colliding at once. I was doing mundane tasks that needed to be done while also trying to meet my goals for the week and devote some nurturing time to myself as well. Towards the end of the day, I definitely could feel the first tugs of Mercury Retrograde's shadow and the ensuing slow-down of everything that leads up to its pull back on March 22. I met my time on the mat with an attitude of give and take -- of strength and letting go. I made a lot of realizations that the path ahead might have some rough patches, but at the end of the day it's me who gets to decide if they become obstacles or merely bumps that I have to navigate to get to where I want to be. In the mean time I will keep on walking on towards my destination steadfastly and with sure feet on the ground.