Getting Grounded Again

Sometime between yesterday and today, I got a little shaky and off-center in the doing of all my tasks. This afternoon, I realized that I needed to infuse a some grounding back into my life, so that I can get a bit of my own back. It has been a busy week thus far and I have come to terms with the fact that I don't have to do everything perfectly, but sometimes that impulse to over-think and "monkey mind" everything tries to take over again. At least now I know what's happening when I see it and I can relax and relinquish that tight grip on my existence and remember to breath -- confident in the knowledge that everything is going to work out for the best and that it always does somehow. This yoga practice really helped me a lot. More kudos to the Yoga With Adrienne channel!

Exactly What I Needed!

Exactly What I Needed!

OMG was this practice everything that I needed to do and hear in the moment! Since at least a week, I had been plagued by thoughts of self-doubt about my performance and singing abilities and my life path in general. And then I went up there on stage and I felt that I just 'hit in out of the park' in terms of my performance. It was an awesome feeling and then the next day when I thought about the things I have to finish up before the end of the semester, I started to get anxious and doubt myself yet again. After I completed this Yoga With Adrienne practice to conquer the times when you simply don't believe in yourself enough, I begin to see the patterns of the times when I doubt myself and how it can often be a vicious cycle. I'm committed to working through this tendency, not by pulling away from the uncomfortable emotions that self-doubt can generate, but by examining them, facing them with frankness and honesty, learning what I need to and then letting it go.

The Moment of Truth

The Moment of Truth

So in this crystallization of time, this second of mental, spiritual, emotional and physical growth, I am feeling the weight of all my decisions. How will I respond to everything that is being asked of me? How will I react to the truth of understanding that dawns on us something -- hitting us like a brick of realization? For me that realization is dealing with feelings of self-doubt and fears about my proficiency as a singer and performer. I somethings wonder if I'm good enough to be around all the talent that I have the privilege to enjoy in my musical social circle. I know that this is coming from a deeper place -- a wound created by my childhood, when people didn't believe in me or think I was capable of great things. My challenge today is to take a deep breath and just melt into the moment of truth when it comes and to infuse with playfulness and lighthearted energy. I can ask myself, if this was my last day or chance to be on earth, would I want to spend it in fretting and worrying, or would I choose joy instead? I want to choose joy.

Tired But Inspired!

Tired But Inspired!

I needed a dose of caffeine after my morning yoga and then I had to head off to my classes. I have a performance tomorrow, and maybe it's the stress I have faced over the last two week, or the toll that being sick took on my whole system and frazzled nerves, but I find my self nervous. There are points durning the day when I wonder if I can do it. Logically I know I can, and that all I have to do is just get out there and have fun, but still the nagging little spears of self-doubt remain amid all the happy parts. Maybe the key is just to accept the whole picture with both the good and bad feelings and just let everything go. I think I'm going to practice doing that tomorrow. This is me letting on and letting God/Goddess take the wheel. And cue second yoga practice....

Moving With Confidence

Moving With Confidence

Today I felt so much better about myself, in large part due to my exploration of what makes up the pleasurable and painful situations we experience in life, and finding ways to come to terms with the how the tragedies of my life intersect with its most joyful experiences. As Jay told me yesterday when I was getting in touch with that pain, "Life isn't fair.". That statement rung true for me. A lot about my life's journey up until now has been wrought with sorrow and disappointment. That's not to say that I didn't have many breathtaking and amazing experiences to take snapshots of, it's just that I honor and accept that moments of intense sadness have most definitely also been a part of that tapestry. Where does that leave me? Well, honestly, I'm still figuring that part out. Right now I'm deeply aware of both states of being in my mind's eye, and that's OK -- healing even. I sense that my coming to terms with these dualities, is going to be the focus of the summer, and maybe the rest of the year. It's better to face the shadows than to run from them - even if you're fleeing into the beauty of the light.

It's Late!

It's Late!

OMG! 😲 look at the time. Yes it's late, but the day didn't feel complete without jotting a few words down in my blog. Yes I'm managing my anxiety and yes yoga and meditation are helping. Aromatherapy is helping me tackle the fret and worry beast as well. Then there's the mindful journaling. I'm going to master the fine art of being.

Keep On Going!

Keep On Going!

Just keep towing the line! That seems to be great advice as this semester comes to a close and summer gets closer  and closer. That's just what I'm going to do. Even when the going gets tough, I'm not going to give up. I chose today's practice because I needed to keep my eye on the ball and go for the gold. I have end of semester projects to complete and a two concerts to sing in for the month of May - one on the the 8th of this month and another on the 30th. I love doing what I do and now it's time to start making it work for me. I plan to serve up videos both on a "That Healing Girl" Youtube Channel and on my Adina Pernell Youtube channel to marking my singing and musical pursuits. I also plan to write a book on crystal healing. I've got a lot of work to do this summer (most of all in fun). It's time to fire up my goals and get moving!