Today was all about agendas to get things done, being busy with a purpose, early morning commuting on BART into San Francisco with my coffee in hand, deadlines at City College of San Francisco's (CCSF) newspaper The Guardsman, meeting with faculty members, emails and assignments. Somehow in the rush of today, I was late for my massage therapy shift at Project Zen Day Spa in the North Beach neighborhood of The City. I was in an Uber, speeding towards my destination when I remembered to find my space of calm, to slow down deepen my inhalations and exhalations, to let go of the balls of tension that were crowding around my jawline and stomach and to remember the ease and mindfulness that helps to pull me through it all.
Toni Carmine Salerno's card "Tiger's Eye" from her "Crystal Oracle" deck, let me remember that today, my feathers were going to be ruffled, my resolve might waver, my nerves might be tested and my emotions a bit frayed at the edges thanks to the high concentration of moon energies saturating the atmosphere, but that I could find a grounding place of peace throughout this little slice of the journey. I can move with ease and flow through the changes with grace. I can choose to be at peace.
Today's yoga flow felt very free and individual, like the movements were more organic. It reminded me that the natural order of things is grace and self-love, no matter where I am in my life or what part of the process of change that I am going through.
Toni Carmine Salerno's "Crystal Oracle" deck gave up the card "Amethyst" today. I am still reeling from the potent emotional energy of the New Moon 🌙 in Capricorn. The energies of amethyst are urging me to not only embrace my shadow side, but to love and accept it. And whenever I am besieged by feelings that make feel unworthy, that I should take heart and. know that I am enough and that I am loved.
Yesterday, I did an energy healing session that left me feeling spacey and ungrounded. I'm still trying to find my equilibrium. I feel as if I need to place my feet on bare earth and absorb its strength. I feel as if I am going through a bit of a spiritual dilemma. I am wondering why I was so thrown off my center. Maybe I absorbed some of the energy that I was seeking to heal? I'm not sure. Whatever the case I am feeling the need to re-center, ground and come back to myself. To stir the pot even more, yesterday's New Moon in Capricorn which is also my own moon sign, left me highly emotional. I am still working through the emotions. I need to withdraw and spend some time with my own counsel and in a meditative state with crystals to recharge. I am considering doing a "return of strength" layout from the book "Crystal Healing" by Simon and Sue Lilly. This layout involves the grounding and revitalizing crystals bloodstone.
My personal tarot reading had my drawing three cards today from Toni Carmine Salerno's "Crystal Oracle" deck. I drew "Citrine" a card that is telling me that financial abundance is on the way, "Snowflake Obsidian" which let's me know that ideas and talents that I have been nurturing and building a skill-set with for so long are finally bearing fruit in a material and spiritual sense, and lastly, "Lapis Lazuli is letting me know that the more I let go of what no longer serves me, the more my soul's purpose will blossom into being!
"I Didn't Know My Own Strength" Performed By Whitney Houston written by Diane Warren
Lost touch with my soul I had nowhere to turn, I had nowhere to go Lost sight of my dream Thought it would be the end of me
I thought I'd never make it through I had no hope to hold on to I, I thought I would break
I didn't know my own strength And I crashed down and I tumbled but I did not crumble I got through all the pain I didn't know my own strength
Survived my darkest hour, my faith kept me alive I picked myself back up, hold my head up high I was not built to break I didn't know my own strength
Found hope in my heart I found the light to life my way out of the dark Found all that I need here inside of me
I thought I'd never find my way I thought I'd never lift that weight I thought I would break
I didn't know my own strength And I crashed down and I tumbled but I did not crumble I got through all the pain I didn't know my own strength
Survived my darkest hour, my faith kept me alive I picked myself back up, hold my head up high I was not built to break I didn't know my own strength
There were so many times I wondered How I'd get through the night I thought I took all that I could take
I didn't know my own strength And I crashed down and I tumbled but I did not crumble I got through all the pain I didn't know my own strength
My faith kept me alive I picked myself back up, I hold my head up high I was not built to break I didn't know my own strength
I was not built to break, no, no I got to know my own strength
How often do we live with the concept that we are truly enough? Not that we are enough if we have an awesome body, if we have a certain amount of money in our bank accounts, if we have a great career, if we meet the perfect person and ad infinitum; but that we are simple incredible just the way we are. I like many people was raised with the concept that I needed something outside of myself to complete myself. It is a beautiful notion to accept that fact that we can be magical just the way we are, warts, moles, imperfections and all. I am on the way to a journey of showing unconditional love both to myself and all the wonderful people in my life past, present and future.
The fact that I pulled the "Rhodochrosite" card from Toni Carmine Salerno's "Crystal Oracle" card deck is telling. I am being reminded to be compassionate about the faults of others for they are a mirror of a part of ourselves, however small of a space it is reflected from. We are all connected in this big wide Universe after all. If we can't be understanding of our own flaws and show love to ourselves when we make mistakes or have failures, it can make it more difficult to demonstrate those qualities toward others. I am committing myself to the practice of self-love -- a rewarding process that everyone should allow into their existence. For it is through those actions that my experience of true love and inner peace will deepen.
Connecting to my yoga practice today was a process of ease and grace. My meditation practice is gaining depth and becoming more effortless as well. I am growing slowly but surely and my life is taking form right along with my practice. I'm finding my groove and it feels great!
Today's yoga practice was all about stretching not only the capacities of the body but of the mind. Living in a moment of fearlessness and acceptance and in that space, making the room to grow by leaps and bounds! I could really feel the expansiveness inside my body in a way that went deeper than the increased ease and grace with which I could feel myself moving today. I've grown not just in flexibility, but in the way that I approach my practice. I do a lot more just letting the movement happen and grow out of my intentions and spirit than I do trying to achieve a certain pose or state of mind. My meditation practice has deepened as well -- not only from the yoga but from my new-found practice of journaling.
Franklin D. Roosevelt said that "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." Apparently this what the card I pulled from Toni Carmine Salerno's "Crystal Oracle" deck is saying. The card that choose me today is "Labradorite". Labradorite is a crystal of psychic power, divination and spiritual protection. It is telling me that I will so lose the mantle of fear that has dominated so much of my first chakra. I was raised in a cult religion that was dominated by fear on so many levels. It's taken me years to drop away that mantle, but I finally am. I'm living life on my own terms and nobody else's' with love, strength and courage. It's a beautiful feeling!
I find that I often have anxiety over things and I am definitely sinking deeper into my practice of mindfulness in order to deal with it. I'm using Reiki, EFT and Crystal Therapies as well. Using all the toools in my toolbox is going to be how I make it through.
The card today from Toni Carmine Salerno's deck "Crystal Oracle Deck" is "Sodalite". The energies of this beautiful blue gemstone reminds us to keep calmly creating our dreams without stress -- with a certainty that they will come true. "Dreams really do come true", is the message that "Sodalite" has to deliver. And I can feel them manifesting. This is so happening! I can feel it!
